YES, It’s that time of the year when endless Christmas music stations arrive and those few of us (in Grande Prairie anyway) who work at a desk are left to endure hours on hours and weeks on weeks of endless music that makes me feel like I should stick a ball point pen in my eye. Now I’m sure some of my friends see my grinch profile picture and assume I’m a miserable old fart that hates Christmas but I don’t…I promise. The thing that makes me cranky is this borderline gospel religious jamorbees that make me feel like Im apart of a church choir. Thank god for my Monster Inspiration Headphones
You Like Christmas Music?
You know what, I do too. It’s not that I detest everything about Christmas music it’s the amount I have to listen to it. I remember years ago the Bear in Edmonton ran a contest “Tough Enough” or something and forced some poor sap (actually I think it happened on more then one occasion) to sit in a dark cement room with nothing but the irritating chorus of When September Ends by Greenday, followed by a record screech. Rinse and repeat over and over and over. That’s how I feel about Christmas Music and Christmas Music Stations.
If you work in retail and are forced to endure this you understand, I hope you understand, god you should understand otherwise I have to question your sanity. Forget the fact that it sounds like your in a church (in most cases) but how in all things holy can anyone survive the month working when you have to listen to Kenny and Dolly sing about Christmas.
Even the titles are ridiculous.
“White Christmas”, no shit I live in Canada. The person who probably wrote the song has never had to deal with December temperatures or wiping snow off his car.
“Feliz Navidad”, congratulations, you’re now cultured cause this Christmas song is primarily in English but sang with some foreign speaking parts.
“Jingle Bell Rock”, nothing speaks of rock more then Bells!
“Christmas Shoes”, I’m not even going to bother with this religious nut ball of a song. Forget the fact that it’s about a boy who wants to give his mom sexy shoes incase she meets Jesus that night, worse yet is it’s a country song.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa”, you mean I saw mommy committing adultery (like all her friends do). (Yes I know it’s actually Daddy but hows the kid supposed to know)
All is not Lost For Good Christmas Music
Thankfully there are artists out there in the world that feel the love some of us feel for Christmas music. Take Australian legend Kevin Bloody Wilson for example who’s song “Hey Santa Claus” helps soothes the soul.
And where would be be without music from the best Christmas Movie Christmas Vacation. Such classics like Mele Kalikimaka and the Christmas Vacation Theme surely are classics for everyone. Who the hell doesn’t like that movie! In fact if there is one saving grace that may actually save my sanity from all the endless and boring Christmas music that’s being played for the next week and a half it’s that I’ll be able to watch the aforementioned movie.
Oh and how can you forget about a little Christmas love from the 80′s. Forget about everything you know about Geogre Michael and his love for public washrooms and let’s spend more time analyzing where gimmicky bad sweater parties were thought of and bring back some of the 80′s hair from the music video of Last Christmas originally sang by Wham. Of course it was a hit. Look how many shitty aspiring artists have covered it since then: Billie, Ashley Tisdale, Hilary Duff and Taylor Swift to name a few. I suppose that’s the problem, we can’t manage to have anyone creative enough to write new songs, instead we’re faced to listen to the same lyrics over and over and over and over and over.
One More Week
Thankfully after two weeks of enduring this crap and all the Christmas Music Stations I’ve had to listen to while at work there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Christmas Day is just one week away. After that there is no point in listening to it anymore and instead we get prepped for the biggest let down of the year, NEW YEARS!
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